Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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