kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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