Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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