I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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