So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
