I swear god or herbie drove my car home
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
