On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
