You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
