I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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