She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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