TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
