i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
