..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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