ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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