Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
