In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
