what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
