none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
