Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
