i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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