used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
