I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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