I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
