Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Randomize
