I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
