I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
