AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
