Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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