I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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