Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
