dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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