you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
