It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
