At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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