New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I didn't notice because vodka
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's rum buckets o'clock
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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