So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
