This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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