you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
