dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
