i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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