nut hugger
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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