I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
