normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
