She is in my trunk
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
