If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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