i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
