Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
