the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
