I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
