There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
well you can't waste a boner
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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